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. She then puts her head on your lap, for fucks sake. You jump up. ‘See! You don’t fucking care! Screw you, no one will ever love me, I don’t care!’ ‘I’m sorry, as much as I want to help, you cant lay on my lap.’ You’re feeling awkward. Its your fucking job for christs sake. She’s proper crying now and you don’t know what the hell to do. You do what you shouldn’t. You put your arm around her and pull her in. Its then you realise how small she is, how innocent despite the gob, and you wonder….has she ever? Ever been with a boy?You relax and sit down on the grass. She’s curled up on your lap, you’re rocking her. She’s got her head under your chin, and her blonde hair is stuck to her face from crying. Her white tshirt is grubby, from playing outside and dropped food, and her pink leggings have holes in the knees. Her trainers which have princess’s on once had sparkle and glitter, every little g*s dream shoes, except hers are scuffed. She’s shuffling around on your lap, her tiny round. “Good good” the man replies. “Well, go and wash yer hands then - I only want a ham sandwich”.Three hillbillies were sitting on the porch. The first hillbilly said “My wife is so dumb, yesterday she dragged home a brand new washer and dryer, and we ain’t even got electricity!” The second hillbilly said “My wife is stupider than yers, yesterday she brings home a new dishwasher, and we ain’t even got runnin’ water!” The third hillbilly said “My wife is even stupider! Yesterday I was in the kitchen and I saw her purse on the table. Everything was spilled out of it and there was a bunch of rubbers layin’ there ... and she ain’t even got a dick!”At a wedding party recently someone yelled “All the married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living”. The bartender was nearly crushed to death.I heard a story about a guy who got a call from his doctor the day after a visit. From what I gathered, the doctor says “I hate to tell you this, but I have bad news and.
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